Sleep Coaching for Newborns

Jan 13

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Busting the Myth of Sleep Coaching for Newborns: What New Parents Really Need to Know

Welcoming a newborn into your life is one of the most transformative experiences you’ll ever have. From the first snuggle to the endless marvel of tiny fingers and toes, it’s a whirlwind of joy, love—and exhaustion. For many expectant parents, the question of sleep looms large. You may have already Googled phrases like “newborn sleep coaching” or “sleep training for infants” in the hopes of finding a solution to the sleepless nights you’ve heard so much about.

Here’s the truth: there is no such thing as sleep coaching for newborns. Yes, you read that right. Newborns don’t need sleep coaching—they need comfort, nourishment, and an environment that replicates the cozy, secure feeling of the womb. So, if you’re preparing for your baby’s arrival and looking for ways to feel more supported during those early weeks, this guide is for you.

Why Newborns Don’t Need Sleep Coaching

Let’s start by busting a common myth. Newborns, with their tiny developing brains, simply don’t have the capacity to learn independent sleep habits. They’re hardwired to wake up frequently. Whether it’s for a feeding, a diaper change, or just the reassurance that you’re nearby, those wake-ups are completely normal. In fact, they’re a sign that your baby is healthy and thriving.

Expecting a newborn to follow a sleep schedule is like expecting them to walk out of the hospital. It’s not going to happen—and that’s okay. Those early weeks are all about survival and meeting your baby’s most basic needs. Understanding this can help you set realistic expectations and avoid unnecessary stress.

The Essentials of Newborn Sleep Support

While you can’t coach a newborn to sleep, you can create an environment that supports better rest for both you and your baby. Here’s how:

1. Replicating the Womb: Your baby spent months in a warm, snug, and noisy environment. Recreating those sensations can help them feel secure:

Swaddling: Wrapping your baby snugly in a swaddle mimics the feeling of being held in the womb. It can also help reduce the startle reflex that often wakes newborns.
White Noise: The womb isn’t silent; it’s full of whooshing and rhythmic sounds. A white noise machine set to around 60–65 decibels can help soothe your baby and block out environmental noise.
Gentle Rocking: When you walked during pregnancy, your movements gently rocked your baby. Rocking, swaying, or baby-wearing can replicate that calming motion.

2. Frequent Feedings: Newborns have tiny stomachs and need to eat often. Regular feedings not only nourish your baby but also help them feel content and ready to rest. Pay attention to their hunger cues and aim to burp them well after each feeding to reduce gas discomfort.

3. Minimizing Stimulation: Newborns can easily become overstimulated, which makes it harder for them to settle and sleep. Create a calming bedtime routine with:

Dim, red-spectrum lighting during nighttime feedings and diaper changes.
Quiet voices and soothing movements to keep the environment peaceful.
A darkened room to encourage melatonin production and help your baby distinguish between day and night.

Practical Tips for Exhausted Parents

Caring for a newborn is exhausting, even when you know what to expect. Here are some practical ways to support your baby’s sleep while taking care of yourself:

1. Lean Into Contact: Holding and snuggling your baby is not only comforting for them but also beneficial for you. Contact helps build a strong bond and releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which can help combat stress and fatigue. Use tools like baby carriers to keep your little one close while freeing up your hands.

2. Watch for Sleepy Cues: Newborns can’t tell you they’re tired, but they give plenty of signals. Look for yawning, staring off into space, or rubbing their eyes. These cues are your green light to help them settle before they become overtired.

3. Call in the Cavalry: Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Whether it’s a postpartum doula, a trusted friend, or a family member, having extra hands can make a world of difference. A well-rested parent is better equipped to care for their baby—and enjoy the process.

Preparing for Postpartum: Building Your Support Network

One of the best things you can do during pregnancy is plan for postpartum support. Here’s how:

1. Hire a Postpartum Doula: A postpartum doula provides practical and emotional support during the early weeks. From helping with feedings and soothing techniques to offering encouragement when you’re feeling overwhelmed, a doula can be a game-changer for new parents.

2. Set Realistic Expectations: Let go of the idea that your baby “should” sleep through the night. Embrace the contact naps, the midnight feedings, and the snuggles on the couch. This phase is temporary, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment.

3. Create a Rest Plan: Divide responsibilities with your partner or support team so everyone gets a chance to rest. Even short naps can help you recharge.

4. Stock Up on Essentials: Prepare your home with items that will make life easier, like a white noise machine, swaddle blankets, and dimmable lights. Having these tools ready to go can make those early weeks feel more manageable.

You’re Not Just Surviving—You’re Thriving

It’s easy to feel like you’re in survival mode during the newborn phase. But by focusing on comfort, nourishment, and replicating the womb, you’re laying the foundation for your baby’s healthy development. More importantly, you’re building a bond of trust and love that will last a lifetime.

Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. Seek out resources, build your village, and give yourself grace as you navigate this new chapter. And if anyone tells you that your three-week-old should be sleeping through the night? Feel free to roll your eyes and change the subject. You’ve got this, and your baby is lucky to have you.

For more tips, check out the resources on newborn sleep below, including free downloads on sleepy cues and the “5 S’s,” and follow her on Instagram for weekly inspiration and support.